Marriage Questions That Kids Tried To Answer

Happy New Year!!!

Here are some questions that kids tried to answer. I'm just wondering how they understood each question posed.

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? 

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. --Alan, age 10 

No person really decides before they Grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. --Kirsten, age 10 

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? 

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. --Camille, age 10 

No age is good to get married at. You Got to be a fool to get married. --Freddie, age 6 

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? 

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. --Derrick, age 8 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? 

Both don't want any more kids. --Lori, age 8 

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? 

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. --Lynnette, age 8 

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. --Martin, age 10 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? 

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. --Craig, age 9 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 

When they're rich. --Pam, age 7 

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. --Curt, age 7 

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. --Howard, age 8 

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? 


It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. --Anita, age 9 

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? 

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? --Kelvin, age 8 

"And the #1 Favorite is........" HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? 

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. --Ricky, age 10 

from arcamax

When Forrest Gump Went To Heaven

It's not that Forrest Gump is funny. It is his way of answering questions that makes me smile. I think he must be a wise man. Read on......

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The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.


St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."


Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."


St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.


First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?


Second: How many seconds are there in a year?


Third: What is God's first name?"


Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."


Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd! be Today and Tomorrow. The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.


"How many seconds in a year?"


"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."


Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"


Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . ..."


"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?


"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."


"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"


"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."