Woman's Power

There were 11 people - ten men and one woman - hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.

They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.

When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

One Wish Genie

There's this old but good joke about genies, wishes, and marriage. So far, I found this one very funny. Read on.....

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A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold 'a genie' appeared! The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. 

The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?" 

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." 

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable." 

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for... a good man." 

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that map again..." 

from arcamax

Kinds of Men

All the while, I thought there are only two kinds of men.  Those who know how to love and who don’t. Until this time I saw other kinds of men.  Now, which is yours?

Men Are Like...

Men are like..... Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like..... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like..... Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like..... Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like..... Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like..... Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.